Lunches, cleaning, and bear hugs, oh my!
Lunches, cleaning, and bear hugs, oh my!
Yesterday was Mother’s Day here in the United States. And this year, all three of my kids were home.
They’re 21, 19, and almost 17, so they’ve long understood that breakfast in bed is something Mom never wants. And they *almost* get that Mom doesn’t want to make decisions. Seriously, don’t ask what to get me. Don’t make me have to choose where you take me for lunch. I’ll appreciate whatever thoughtful gesture you make. Just please don’t make me tell you what that gesture should be.
Yesterday I was reminded of several important lessons:
Lesson 1: No one in my family is a mind reader. If I want something specific, I need to ask. And then I need to receive graciously.
What I wanted most for Mother’s Day was to come downstairs in the morning to a clean kitchen - a kitchen someone else cleaned. So that’s what I told my husband on Saturday afternoon. And yesterday morning I let myself stay in bed longer than usual - just so my people had time to clean the kitchen. And even though it wasn’t cleaned the way I would have cleaned it, I was so appreciative that I didn’t have to do the work.
Lesson 2: We each give and receive love in different ways.
It’s Love Languages 101. And it couldn’t have been more evident in the way my kids approached Mother’s Day. I had planned to hibernate for much of the day, as I often do on Sundays. But just after breakfast, my youngest knocked on my door and invited me to lunch for Mother’s Day. Her love language is quality time. So, even though I wasn’t hungry, I allowed her to give the gift she wanted to give: time with me. We ran some errands, did a bit of shopping, and then had our lunch (falafel gyros).
My son’s love language is physical touch. So this afternoon as we spent time together, he plopped on my lap, engaged me in a wrestling match, gave me several bear hugs. Was this my jam? Not so much. But I will ALWAYS respond to acts of love, even when they’re inconvenient and annoying!
My middle kid? She’s all about the gifts. But this year instead of giving me gifts that felt good for her to give, she chose to speak my languages: Acts of service and Words of affirmation. She took care of several projects around the house that I just didn’t want to do. And was sure to gush a lot as she told me how much she loved me. Learning to recognize how each of my people express love has helped our relationships grow.
Lesson 3: The answers come when we’re ready. And when we’re ready to be honest.
I carved out some extra time to journal yesterday afternoon, and had a big realization about a situation I’ve been wondering about for some time. I’ve been telling others that I’m really happy with how things are going and that I could see myself in this situation for a long time. But as I wrote my way in, around, and through, I’m realizing this particular situation has a shelf life. I allowed myself to admit that while I’m happy with it now, I’m not likely to be happy if I’m still exactly here a year from now. So while I haven’t made any decisions about what to do, my answer is clear: enjoy where I am. Enjoy what I’m doing. And trust that I’ll know when it’s time to choose something else.
It’s so easy for me to get frustrated, to get so caught up in the busy of life that I forget lessons like these that help me find joy. I’m so grateful for my journaling practice that helps me focus on what’s most important, that helps me know and listen to myself, and help me build patience, trust, self-compassion, and kindness.
What’s a lesson that journaling helped you remember?
Journal Prompts
Use these prompts as written or as inspiration to uncover what you need in your life this week. And know that I’m always here to support you and answer questions you have along the way!
What is your relationship with giving and receiving?
How easy is it to ask for what you want and need? Why?
What is your love language? (Not sure what love languages are? See here.)
How can you be more honest with yourself?
Journaling Fun and Support
I’ve got something special up my sleeve for our next Journaling Mini-Retreat! If you’ve been separated or divorced and need a little TLC, you’re invited to join me on Wednesday, May 15 at 7:30 pm Eastern. Claim your spot here. 💛
My weekly livestream is back! Join me on Tuesdays at 8pm Eastern as I welcome a series of guests who do interesting, fun things that tie into journaling! This week, I welcome my friend Roseanne Reilly to talk about Nervous System Regulation! Tune in on LinkedIn, YouTube, or Facebook (if you’re my mom!). Missed our last session on Increasing Joy? Catch it HERE.
Happy Journaling!
