Don't work in your hammock.
And other great advice I've ignored
“Don’t work in your hammock,” my husband told me as he saw me put on my shoes.
”You know you always fall asleep in your hammock.”
He’s right.
I DO always fall asleep in my hammock.
But that doesn’t stop me from being convinced THIS is the time I’ll stay awake long enough to finish my work.
It’s not that I fall asleep on purpose.
I’m convinced that my hammock makes me sleepy.
Though it could be the lack of restful nights’ sleep this week…
It’s making me think of all the advice I’ve ever been given -
Some of it helpful, some of it less so.
Much of it came from my mother, who’s smarter than I gave her credit for:
“Write things down,” she said. “You’ll forget them if you don’t.”
I had all the excuses:
I had three small kids at home.
I was busy. I was tired. I honestly thought I’d remember the cute and wonderful things they did.
And I don’t.
Except for the things I wrote down.
Now I write down all the things I want to remember.
“Amanda, not everyone has to like you.”
My mother told me this all the time starting mid-way through second grade when a new girl moved into my class, stole my best friend, and they wouldn’t let me play.
It sounded mean to my young ears.
And I was 35 before I finally realized what she meant:
People will like you or they won’t. And it usually has nothing to do with you. Don’t worry about the ones who don’t. Spend your time and energy on the people who DO matter.
At 45, I get to be the one who reminds myself of this advice.
Other great advice I’ve been given:
Not everything has to be linear. Sometimes it’s okay to start in the middle and then go back and figure out what the beginning should look like.
Surround yourself with good people. And people who are smarter than you.
Ask questions. All the questions. There’s no sense in not knowing when asking a simple question can help you find the answer you need.
Your time is valuable. The $13 delivery charge from the grocery store is worth not having to spend an hour of your life at the store. Even if you do like grocery shopping.
Just because other people are doing it, it doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for you.
Not everyone has earned the right to hear your story. You can be an open book, but that doesn’t mean you need to let everyone read it.
Some advice has been less helpful:
If you want something done, do it yourself.
Success means more after a struggle.
Good work should always be rewarded with more work.
You can always do it yourself. You don’t need to pay someone else to do it for you.
And some advice has been confusing:
“Start a blog.” A former manager said this to me when I told them I wanted to do more writing at work. They did not mean a blog for work.
“It’s all important. Do it all. Do it well. Work (extra unpaid hours) from home if you have to." (Another former manager when I told her I was feeling overwhelmed and needed help understanding which projects on my plate were the highest priority.)
“You don’t need to buy your own hammer. You can call me and I’ll move pictures for you.” (My ex-husband as we were separating and I wanted to take down our wedding pictures. He wouldn’t tell me where our hammer was so I said I’d just buy my own.)
Some advice I’ve listened to and been so glad I did.
Some advice I’ve NOT listened to and been so glad I did.
Other times I’ve followed poor advice or not listened when I should, and felt the repercussions.
There’s a lot of good advice out there.
But the best advice is the advice we get at the right time from the right person.
That we then take and execute our way.
We get to choose if advice is good for us or not,
No matter where or who it comes from and how well-intended they are.
So many pages of my journals are filled with advice I’ve gotten over the years -
Picking through them to see which makes sense for me,
Identifying which I should follow and discarding what doesn’t serve me.
And in reading my journals, so often I’m the one giving advice to myself.
Turns out that old me is always smarter than I remember.
Even when she falls asleep in the hammock.
(I’m happy to report that I’ve finished writing this, completely awake, still in my hammock. Though now I think I need a nap!)
Use these prompts as written or as inspiration to uncover what you need in your life this week. And know that I’m always here to support you and answer questions you have along the way!
What is the best advice you’ve ever received?
What’s the worst advice someone’s ever given you?
What’s your process for deciding if advice is good or not-so-helpful?
Who is the person who has never steered you wrong with their advice?
What’s your favorite advice to give others?
One Fun Journaling Idea
The One Liner.
Write one sentence (or short paragraph) each day, leaving the rest of the page blank. The next year go back and write on the corresponding page. Capture several years in one book and see at a glance your progression over time.
(There are lots of journals that are set up like this so you only have the space for one line a day!)
There are so many exciting ways to approach this: what you learned, the best part of your day, what you’re grateful for, most important thing that happened, a great conversation you had. I want to do this with dinners we eat - imagine how easy that would make meal planning! I’m okay with eating the same meal every year on the same date!
Happy Journaling!
