Driving South won't get you to Miami if you start in Oregon
Everyone I know who has worked with a therapist or a coach has been encouraged - or required - to journal.
Journaling is helpful, we’re told.
But very few of us received instructions on HOW to journal. And those of us who do get to hear a watered down version of what works for someone else.
Just write down whatever comes to mind.
Follow this specific structure.
Write a full three pages because the good stuff always comes at the end.
Unfortunately, it’s following cookie cutter advice that leads so many folks feeling meh about journaling.
I talk to folks all the time who say things like:
Journaling doesn’t work for me.
I’ve tried it and I don’t get anything out of it.
Everyone else can figure out journaling, but I can never find what works for me. There must be something wrong with me.
My friend, if this is you, let me reassure you - There is nothing wrong with you!
Let’s revisit those pieces of advice from earlier:
Not all of us are comfortable just writing whatever comes to mind. The blank page can be intimidating. We can have so much that needs to come out, where in the world do we start?
Following a structure sounds like a good idea. But if that structure doesn’t resonate with us, doesn’t help get us where we need to go, we’re not going to see the benefits from it.
And writing three full pages every day? That’s a lot. Who’s got that much time? And what happens when we find ourselves in a full negativity spiral? Pulling ourselves down just to fill three full pages just doesn’t sound logical.
Usually when people feel unsatisfied with their journaling practice, it’s simply a misalignment between what we want our journaling to do for us and how we’re going about getting there.
Let’s say I want to go on vacation. My friends have been to Miami. They say it’s wonderful. They think I’d love it. And they tell me the best way to get there is to drive South. So I get in my car and go. Except I’m starting in Oregon. There’s no possible way driving South will get me to Miami. I’ll end up in San Diego, which is great if I had planned to get to San Diego. But if I really want to get to Miami, I’ll find myself super disappointed.
Journaling is the same way.
We have to have an idea of what we want our journaling to do for us and frame out our expectations.
Do you want to become more grateful for all you have?
Do you want to be more focused and productive at work?
Do you want your journaling to help you be more mindful?
Do you want to better understand your thoughts and feelings?
Do you want to clarify your values and make aligned decisions?
Do you want to track your progress toward your goals so you can see how far you’ve come?
No one journaling technique will make all of these happen for you. There’s no one-size-fits-all that’s going to do it, no matter how great that technique is.
Think of your toolbox at home - you no doubt have a hammer. And your hammer is really good at putting nails in the wall so you can hang up the new family photo you had taken. But your hammer isn’t going to fix your bathroom sink. You’ll need a wrench and a screwdriver and a pair of pliers. Knowing what tools to use and when helps us get our home fix it jobs done.
Your journaler’s toolbox is the same way. If you stock it with a variety of tools and techniques and use them for the right jobs, you’ll be much happier with the outcomes of your journaling practice.
Here are my three favorite essential tools that should be in every journaler’s toolbox:
Stream of consciousness writing - This is your ability to put whatever’s floating around in your brain onto the page. It can clear your mind, help you remember things, calm and regulate you when your brain is whirling. Done in the mornings, it can wake up your creativity. Done at night, it can make your head lighter so you can sleep. One caveat: If you find journaling this way is making you anxious, or causing you to spiral into negativity, this may not be the tool for you right now.
Journal Prompts - Journal prompts are ideas for writing, often phrased as questions. These are great because they serve as a container for our thoughts, helping us to dig deeper, think creatively, explore where we might not otherwise go on our own. I always love journal prompts that can help me understand myself better and be more intentional about how I live my life. A sign of a good journal prompt is one you can use over and over and learn something new every time. Note: Anything can be a journal prompt - a question, a quote, a piece of art or music, what you see outside your window, what you ate for breakfast… I’ve included some of my favorite journal prompts below. And if you need more, you can go back through the archives and find some in every post!
Gratitude Journaling - We’ve all heard of it. Most of us have probably tried it. And it can be as simple as making a list of what we’re grateful for. But so many of us get to the point where this feels rote, like we’re saying the same things over and over again and it may lose its impact. So I love to use these questions to deepen my practice: What am I grateful for? Why am I grateful? How can I show my gratitude? This dive helps me really dig deep and get to the heart of my gratitude and figure out how to take it off the page and into my life where it really counts.
And we can mix and match these techniques, choosing different ones on different days when we need different things.
Journaling gives us a unique opportunity to look inward and figure out what we need, then choose the techniques that will make it happen. Some days we may need to lean into stream of consciousness to get all the heavy feelings out. Other days we need to dive deep into gratitude. Still other days we may feel called to explore a good journal prompt.
How cool is that?
Doesn’t it automatically make journaling more appealing, realizing it doesn’t have to be the same every single day? And if a particular way of journaling isn’t working for us one day, we can simply try another way!
Journaling is a really big field and it’s there for us to play in! AND each of us gets to find what works best for us. Try a way to journal, see how it resonates. If you like it, do more of it! If you don’t, you don’t have to do it again!
There’s no need to compare your practice with others, including those you read about on the Internet. If what you’re doing is working, you’re doing it right.
One of my favorite things to do is help folks match their goals with the journaling practices that will help them get there.
If you feel a little stuck, like your practice could use a jumpstart or a shake up, let’s have a conversation. I’m opening up some spots on my calendar for office hours. Find a time that works for you here.
Journal Prompts
Use these prompts as written or as inspiration to uncover what you need in your life this week. And know that I’m always here to support you and answer questions you have along the way!
What is the most important thing for me to do today?
How can I show up as my best me?
What does my soul need today?
How will I feed my mind today?
How will I take care of my body today?
Who do I need to connect with today?
What does success look like today?
Want more journal prompts? Get a collection of my favorites delivered to your email in our 7 Day Journaling Challenge.
Happy Journaling!
