Finding my way
Ever feel like growth and progress are not a straight line? That you’re on a meandering journey as you figure out all of this life stuff? Worry that you’re not quite headed in the right direction and afraid you’ll never land in the right place?
Me, too, my friend.
This is the path I’ve been walking for the last six months or so and I’m just now really starting to find my way through.
So if you’re feeling lost, worried you’re not enough or that you’re too far behind or that you’ll never figure everything out, please know you’re not alone.
Maybe my story can help.
For four years, I showed up every day to talk about journaling.
I’ve been journaling since I was an angsty teenager, but for most of my life, I never talked about it with other people.
Because journaling came so intuitively to me, I had assumed that journaling must be intuitive to everyone. That everyone must understand what journaling is and how to do it. And that everyone who wants to journal surely must be doing it by now.
What a shock it was for me to learn this wasn’t true.
So every day, on LinkedIn, through this newsletter, on my weekly livestreams, through so many other outlets, I shared the magic of journaling. I shared the benefits of having a journaling practice. And I shared all kinds of tips and tricks to help you, my friend, develop a journaling practice that was exactly what you need.
I loved it so much.
When the time came last year to leave my 9-5, the obvious path for me was to lean into journaling. To offer more workshops and classes and groups. To expand my individual client base.
I was so excited about it.
Until I wasn’t.
I loved this work of mine on a part time basis. And I knew it wasn’t what I was called to do full time. So that left me with one big question:
If this wasn’t what I’m meant to do, then what is?
I put all my journaling work on hiatus while I figured it out.
While I kept up my personal journaling practice, it would be unfair of me to pretend that each entry was helpful. Some days were great; I’d come to my journal, pour my heart on the page, and come away with encouragement and direction. Other days, I wrote my way deeper into despair and negativity.
But I kept showing up. I kept using my tools. I continued to believe that, one day, the answers would come.
I leaned heavily into the work of my friend,
, whose explanation of the Japanese concept of Ikigai (reason for being or life’s purpose) has always resonated:Ikigai is expressing your essence and purpose in harmony with whatever you do.
For many years, sharing journaling was one way I expressed my life’s purpose. But I knew there was more for me, more ways I could live my purpose and make a difference in the world.
Journaling helped me find the clues.
I discovered, through journaling, my core values: curiosity, creativity, communication, and connection. And I started looking for ways to express those values.
I took on some one-off event planning work for a local nonprofit.
I started working with an instructor to improve my basket making.
I started reaching out to loose connections for conversation.
Slowly, but surely, I started to find my path.
I realized that if I can’t find one big thing I love, I can make room in my life for all the little things I love. So I’ve been creating a portfolio career:
Working as a reference librarian at a local library
Doing fundraising and development work for a nonprofit (they were so happy with the event I planned for them, they wanted to keep me around)
Coordinating events at a large outdoor event venue
Working at a local float center where folks use specialized modalities to regulate their nervous systems and heal mentally and physically
I’ve been seeking out and participating in experiences that help me connect with others and myself. And I’m learning to give myself a whole lot of grace.
Life will never be perfect. The road is bumpy and windy and it’s not always easy to read the map we’ve been given. But as I treat myself with kindness and embrace whatever comes my way with an open heart and an open mind, I always find myself exactly where I’m meant to be.
And I couldn’t be more grateful.
My friend, I hope you’ll be kind and loving with yourself. That you’ll give yourself opportunities to take chances and discover the wonder of the world around you. That you’ll trust the Universe will send you the answers you need when you’re ready to receive them and that it’ll always lead you exactly where you’re meant to be.
And may your journal be your trusted companion on your journey.
💛
Journal Prompts
Use these prompts as written or as inspiration to uncover what you need in your life this week. And know that I’m always here to support you and answer questions you have along the way!
How do you feel about where you are in life? Are you pleased with where you’ve gotten to? Or do you feel like you’re somehow missing the mark? Or something else entirely?
If you’re in a good place, what tools, practices, people, or situations have helped you get there? How can you show your gratitude?
If you’re not quite where you want to be, how can you shift course to get there? What tools, resources, people and practices can help you?
How can you surrender the idea that you’re not where you should be? That you’re somehow lacking? That life hasn’t delivered what it promised?
Where can you find joy and awe and gratitude along your journey?
How can I help?
Even though I’ve been quiet lately, I am still here to help you build and grow a sustainable journaling practice that helps you live the life you’ve dreamed of. Simply reply to this email and let me know where you’re at. I can point you to resources, help you troubleshoot, and cheerlead you in your efforts. You can do this! 💛
Happy Journaling!
Amanda, I yearned to have all the answers, to see a straight line and follow it, until I read a post by a woman who's kid had survived a health crisis. On a heart monitor, she said, it's the ups and downs that mean life. A straight, flat line is *not* what you want. I took that to heart. And it helped me see other ways it's true. Breathing is the inhale *and* the exhale. The accordion expands *and* contracts to make music. In dance we move towards *and* away from our partner, our feet on *and* off the ground. So too our path in life, our creativity, our work, can be some of this and some of that. Certainty *and* patience, activity and rest, clarity and grace. Thanks for a beautiful post.
I love that you've begun to "create a portfolio career" for yourself. So often, people get stuck by looking for a single thing, especially people like you who are multifaceted in their gifts and personality. The what isn't as important as the 'who', meaning who we are in those things.
I'm excited for the days ahead for you!