I couldn't have done this a year ago

When I got divorced, I thought my life was over.

Not in the literal, “I’m honestly afraid I’m going to die” kind of way.
But in the “I have no idea what’s going to happen to me” kind of way.

I had committed to the path I was on,
Marriage, children, predictability.

Even though on a lot of days,
I wasn’t sure I was happy.

But it was safe.
It was familiar.

And I knew what I could expect.

I knew what responsibilities were mine.
(The kids, the house, my work.)

I knew what he’d take care of.
(The cars, maintenance, bringing home the bacon.)

It wasn’t a great marriage.
But it worked well enough, I thought.

Until the day he came home and told me,
”I’ve finally decided I’d be happier not being married to you.”

I couldn’t believe it.

Shock. Fear. Horror.
They don’t begin to describe what happened in my brain.

What will I do now?
Will everyone think I’m a failure?
Am I damaged goods?
How do I carry on after this?

I was lost.
Knocked off the path I had chosen.

And while, sure, I wasn’t always sure I wanted to be on it,
I definitely didn’t want someone else to make the decision for me.

I had no idea what was next.
I had no idea how I’d carry on.

But I did.

I reached out and grabbed hold of every good thing I could find:

Journaling
Carrying crystals in my pocket
Therapy
Neuro biofeedback sessions
Massages
Energy healing
Exercise
Bubble baths

I was willing to try anything that would help.

And little by little,
I rediscovered who I was.

I reconnected with young, strong Amanda
Who knew what she wanted and what she deserved.

I wrote my way to a new Amanda
Becoming the best of who I’ve always wanted to be.

I designed a life I love
And I get to live it every day.

It was a long, bumpy road to get here.
And I’m grateful for every inch of it.

I spent most of last week at the hospital
With my former mother-in-law.

She received a serious, incurable health diagnosis.
And I am part of her support team.

Nine years ago, when I was a fresh divorcee,
I couldn’t have done it.

Three years ago, I couldn’t have done it.
Last year, I couldn’t have done it.

The first day I showed up to the hospital,
I wasn’t sure I would do it.

It is a testament of the work I’ve done
That I can show up for her.

(And a testament of the work she’s done
To allow me to show up for her.)

If you’ve been divorced,
Have a divorce on the horizon,
Or think you may be there sooner than you wish,

I’m creating something new to help.

It’s a program to help you:

Reclaim Your Identity:
Rediscover who you are beyond the confines of your past relationship,
Gaining clarity and confidence in your individuality.

Craft Your Future:
Design a clear vision for the life you desire,
Equipped with practical tools and insights to navigate the journey ahead.

Embrace Empowered Living:
Cultivate inner strength and self-awareness,
Empowering yourself to thrive both personally and professionally.

Forge Authentic Connections:
Develop effective communication skills and deepen your relationships,
Fostering genuine connections with yourself and others.

Master Your Money Mindset:
Understand your relationship with money and harness practices
For financial well-being, ensuring stability and security as you move forward.

If you’d like to learn more, email me HERE.

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Journal Prompts

Use these prompts as written or as inspiration to uncover what you need in your life this week. And know that I’m always here to support you and answer questions you have along the way!

• How would you describe your growth over the last few years?

• What have you learned? How have you stretched yourself?

• Write about a time when you faced a situation that threw you off track. How did you respond? What did you learn? How did you recover?

• What are the words of encouragement you lean on during hard times?

• Knowing what you know now, what advice would you give to a younger version of yourself?

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Journaling Fun and Support

• I’m taking a break from livestreaming this week! But you don’t have to miss me! Check out previous episodes HERE.

• It’s almost time for our next Journaling Mini-Retreat! Join me on Wednesday, February 21 at 7:30pm Eastern for an hour of self-care, self-love, and connection. Register for free HERE.

• Have you signed up yet for the 7-Day Journaling Challenge?

  Seven of my favorite sets of journal prompts delivered straight to your inbox over the next week, designed to help you get to know yourself better. Because self-discovery —> self-compassion —> self-love. And isn’t that what the world needs now? Love, sweet self-love. Register for free HERE.

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Happy Journaling!