Living in denial

For years, I’ve lived in denial that I have allergies.

They creep up every spring and I forget it’s not really normal to live with a constant frog in your throat. Sure, I take an allergy pill (usually…when I remember), and I use allergy eyedrops every day, but even then, there’s this low level of allergies that I’ve grown accustomed to experiencing.

I hardly notice them anymore.

Except last week, when I woke up to this:

Red, itchy eyes. They’re just allergies, I promise!

My eyes are usually dry, but they’re NEVER red and itchy like this.

I know what you’re thinking: “It’s probably pink eye.” And I thought so too! I kept checking in the mirror to see if my eyes were goopy, but nope. I did my best not to itch them, took a good nap and used extra eye drops.

And the next morning it wasn’t any better. So I took myself to Urgent Care to get checked out.

Allergic conjunctivitis.

Red, itchy eyes due to allergies. Not contagious.
Just really scary looking.

I now have some super mega eyedrops and spent the week babying myself. And on Sunday I woke up all better. (So I thought.)

I put my regular allergy eyedrops in when I woke up, figuring I was okay to ditch the super mega strength since my eyes looked clear.

And then I took myself for a three mile walk. I felt fine until I rounded the final corner to home and then I noticed it - the itch was back.

A quick peek in the mirror confirmed my fear - my pink eyes were back with a vengeance.

I learned my lesson - when the doctor says it’s allergies, believe them. And act like I have allergies! Now I’m on this regimen of allergy pills, super mega strength eyedrops, and nasal spray to control them.

I also now own a lovely cold eye mask that I’ve been using to soothe my eyes. (I am now convinced everyone needs one of these, allergies or not!)

What have you been in denial of in your life?

Maybe it’s time for you to finally accept it so you can deal with it properly.

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Use these prompts as written or as inspiration to uncover what you need in your life this week. And know that I’m always here to support you and answer questions you have along the way!

• Where in your life have you been living in denial?

• What has this cost you?

• What needs to happen for you to accept the reality of your situation?

• What will happen for you when you accept it?

• What good can you create out of this experience?

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One Journaling Idea I Love:

Money Journaling

Do you know where your money goes? Do you know when you spend and why?

Money journaling can be done in a number of ways, but here is one I like:

Create a record of your expenditures. Note the day, the amount, the item, the circumstances, and the emotions surrounding the experience. For example:

6/2 - $2.92. Granola bar from the store next to work. I was running late, didn’t have a full lunch, and was pretty sure I’d have a blood sugar crash if I didn’t get some protein mid-shift. I was annoyed to pay so much for one granola bar - I could get a full box for less than double the price! But was so happy when I caught my blood sugar before it crashed and that granola bar held me over until dinner.

6/15 - $18.92. Shrimp and sweet potato fry platter at a restaurant. I met a friend for dinner - her choice of restaurant. Very little on the menu that sounded appealing. Meal was super disappointing, but I enjoyed the conversation! We’ll definitely choose a different restaurant the next time!

6/20 - 19. Intuitive Tarot online class. So excited to learn something new, something so outside my usual interests!

6/22 - 9.52. Electric bill. Grateful that it’s the early days of summer, our AC units aren’t in yet, and our solar panels are making more than enough energy! Love having a utility bill that’s less than $10!

This exercise can not only help you understand where your money is going, but to look at your spending habits as a whole. Do you spend money for convenience? Is your spending aligned with your values? Are you spending intentionally? Are you spending with your emotions (when you’re tired, hungry, sad, angry, etc.)? Where can you make adjustments?

Happy Journaling!