Making choices

It’s easy to choose between a good thing and a bad thing.

It’s much harder to choose between two equally good things.
Or two equally bad things.

Once upon a time, six years ago, I was in a dear friend’s wedding.

The night before, we gathered together for the rehearsal and the after-rehearsal party
And then stayed overnight at this big lake house we rented.

I wasn’t in charge of the arrangements.

I’m not sure if extra people stayed over
Or if the people in charge simply overestimated how big the house was.

But I found myself with a hard choice to make at bedtime. I could:

• Sleep on a tiny, uncomfortable loveseat

• Sleep three across in a double bed with the bride and another bridesmaid

• Or sleep double on a twin size air mattress with the groom’s Aunt Val (who I had just met) and her CPAP machine.

None of those choices were great.

Amanda sits on a tiny loveseat pondering her choices.

I opted for the tiny loveseat.
Now I’m small, but I’m not sleep on a loveseat all night small.

When I woke up super uncomfortable well before dawn,
I had another set of choices I could make:

I could continue to lie on the loveseat, uncomfortable and be grouchy about it.
Or I could get up and do something else.

I put on my workout clothes and got in a great early morning workout.
And then I sat by the lake to journal and watch the sun come up.

All before anyone else had stirred.

Halfway through the reception, when the tired really set in,
I got to make another choice:

Sit around all lumpy because I didn’t have any oomph left
Or get into motion to find my second (and third!) wind.

So I got busy on the dance floor!
And had a great time!

Amanda having a great time dancing (by herself) at her friend’s wedding

I’m so grateful that I always have the power to choose,
Even when I don’t necessarily like my choices.

And I’m grateful to have my journal as my partner
To help me look at all my options and choose the best ones.

Like the night my first marriage ended.

I knew I had a choice to make:

I could allow myself to spiral into negativity
Or I could reach out and grab hold of every good thing that came my way.

I chose the good things.
And it started with my journal -

Making myself write what I was grateful for.

It was really hard. I didn’t feel grateful for much.
But I came up with eight things.

EIGHT!
On the hardest day of my life.
And I knew right then and there, I was going to be okay.

What kind of hard choices have you had to make?

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Use these prompts as written or as inspiration to uncover what you need in your life this week. And know that I’m always here to support you and answer questions you have along the way!

• Think of a time you had an important decision to make.

• What were the circumstances?

• What did you choose?

•  Why did the decision seem significant at the time?

• Do you still think it’s important for the same reasons?

• Consider the consequences this decision. Knowing what you know now, would you make the same choice?

• What did this experience teach you?

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One Fun Journaling Idea

A Decision-Making Journal

Make your journal your partner in making big decisions. You can use this formula Benjamin Franklin used:

1. Get clear on what your choice is. Make it a yes or no decision if you can. (Should I buy this new car?)

2. List the pros and cons. Make a two-column table and compare your pros and cons side by side.

3. Assess the importance of the pros and cons. Which of the pros and cons are the most important? Rate them on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being “not important” and 10 being “most important”.

4. Assess the likelihood of the pros and cons. Use a scale from 1-10, with 1 being “possible, but not likely” and 10 being “extremely likely”.

5. Weigh the pros and cons. Multiply the rating for Importance times the rating for Probability. A pro that is extremely important (10) and is likely to be realized (5) yields a weight of 50. A con of extremely high importance (10) but a remote possibility (1) yields a weight of 10.

6. Review and reflect. Review your pros and cons lists, with their ratings and weightings, and see what information they give you to inform your choice. Is your choice now clear?

Record your choices in your journal and be sure to return to report to yourself on the outcomes of your choices and to celebrate your decision making skills!

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More Good Stuff

• It’s another journaling livestream this week. Bring your journal and journal with me! Tune in on Tuesday at 8pm Eastern on LinkedIn, YouTube, or Facebook.

• THIS is the week I launch my new journaling program. Stay tuned for an announcement mid-week!

Happy Journaling!