Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.
We all appreciate it.
Once upon a time, I saw this gorgeous picture on LinkedIn.
I’m sure we can all think of someone who simply doesn’t understand this concept.
We all know them:
They’re totally unaware of - or unconcerned by - how they use their energy.
They’ll come into work, the grocery store, wherever, already upset about something in their lives. And they’ll look for the closest available person to discharge their energy.
We’ve all witnessed someone snap at the sweet cashier in the checkout line, berate an employee, yell at someone they love.
It may not be intentional, but it’s still hurtful.
And it’s downright harmful, often starting a chain reaction of escalated behavior.
I think of a colleague I once had who’d come into work each day with an axe to grind. We never knew exactly what had happened, but you could tell simply by the way they came through the door what kind of a day it was going to be. When their footsteps were fast and heavy, we knew it was better to keep quiet and out of sight. Because if you caught their eye, they’d let out all their negative energy out on you.
It was never pretty.
It was usually loud, mean-spirited, and demeaning.
It confused me.
Here they were, this really smart person, totally lacking self-awareness. Throwing their energy around recklessly, not understanding the impact it had on others.
The first time I was the target, I made up my mind then and there that I never wanted to make anyone else feel the way this person made me feel.
And I’ve worked really hard to be responsible for my energy and actions and the way they impact others.
Is it always easy? No.
Do I always get it right? No.
When I realize I’ve done something hurtful, do I do my best to fix it? Yes.
Do I learn from my mistakes and do better next time. Usually.
It helps that I have a journaling practice that supports me. Within the pages of my journal, I get to work through my energy -
When I’m upset, writing calms me down. Especially on those days when I’m not sure what I’m even upset about, I find clarity with a pen in hand. I write through my confusion, my frustration, my grief. I discharge my energy on the page where it doesn’t hurt anyone.
When I’m sad, writing gives me solace. I comfort myself by acknowledging that things suck now, but they’ll get better. I revisit old journals to reassure myself that I’ve gone through challenges like this before and I can navigate them beautifully, learning and growing in the process. And that things worked out before; things will work out this time too.
When I’m angry, writing gives me a safe space to let it all out as I keep my pen moving until I feel myself run out of steam.
And once those heavy emotions have run their course, then my journaling helps me to see the light, to create a plan, to determine the next right steps.
This practice has improved all my relationships, especially with those at home who are the easiest to discharge my energy onto if I’m not careful.
Journaling has helped me take greater responsibility for my energy.
If I can do this, everyone can do this. It’s a hill I’m willing to die on.
My friend, the next time you’re feeling big emotions, take a slow, deep breath. See where you’re energy’s at. Calm yourself down before you start that conversation. Check yourself before you walk through the door. Journal through it before you make an impulsive decision that will impact others.
Your words matter. Your actions matter. You matter.
And so do the people around you.
This is a simple thing we can each do to make the world a better place.
Who’s with me?
3 Simple Ways to Jumpstart Your Journaling - Wednesday, August 7, 7pm Eastern
New to journaling? Fallen off the journaling wagon? Looking for ways to really make journaling work for you?
Join me for my signature workshop, 3 Simple Ways to Jumpstart Your Journaling.
We'll review the benefits of journaling, then get hands-on practice with three different techniques. You'll leave with an understanding of how to use these techniques as building blocks to create a journaling practice you love.
Register for your seat in this free workshop.
This Week’s Journal Prompts:
Use these prompts as written or as inspiration to uncover what you need in your life this week. And know that I’m always here to support you and answer questions you have along the way!
Are you able to notice when you have big emotions?
How do you typically handle them?
Do you find yourself discharging your negative energy onto others?
What small step can you take to be more responsible for how you wield your energy?
Happy Journaling!
This is so foundational to humanity!
To realize we all share space, our planet. To be considerate of others. Not because they're more important, but because we all are.
It's foundational to my work with families, too. Helping each person involved to take responsibility for their own energy, what they bring to the relationship, their contributions and reactions.
Journaling is a great way to create space for myself - space in which I can express myself at no one else's expense, and then think more clearly about my next steps.
Thank you for this beautiful post!