Expectations are heavy.
And we carry so many:
The expectations of others as we try to be who and what they need
Our expectations for how others should act and what they should do
Our own expectations for ourselves
It’s a lot.
I’ve gotten better over the years at shedding some of them. It helps me to remember to only concern myself with the opinions of the people whose opinions actually matter. And they are few and far between.
This frees me up to have more space to be myself.
And getting rid of my expectations for others, when I’m able to do it, frees me from the resentment and sadness I know I’ll feel when they aren’t met.
But my expectations for myself are harder to shake. A friend recently pointed out, “Amanda, you are harder on yourself than you would ever be on anyone else.” She was right.
It’s because I know what I want. And I know what I’m capable of. So those expectations seem both obvious and necessary.
What happens when they’re not met? Do I handle them in stride? Or am I hard on myself? What is my self-talk like? Do I put myself down? Or am I gentle and give myself the encouragement I need to try again?
Where are you hard on yourself? Do you put crushing demands on yourself at work? Is it at home with your family? Or maybe that personal project you’ve been trying to make progress on for years?
I’ve heard lots of people over the last six months tell me that they’re frustrated with themselves because they just can’t seem to journal consistently. They feel like they’re falling short or they’re stuck.
They know good things come to those who journal. And they want those things. But they may not believe, deep down, that they can do it. Or that they deserve them.
Is this you?
Please be gentle with yourself. You’re likely doing much better than you give yourself credit for.
When I was an inconsistent journaler, I used to treat every journal entry like it was confession: “It’s been six weeks and four days since the last time I journaled…” No wonder why I was inconsistent! It was painful and I avoided it as long as I could.
One day I realized that my journal doesn’t judge. And I shouldn’t either. I stopped apologizing to my journal and to myself, and just jumped back in. No apologies necessary.
And my journaling improved.
I looked forward to journaling, more than ever. And I was able to unlock all of those good things that I wanted.
I deserved it.
And you deserve it.
Where can you eliminate an expectation today so you can be a little lighter?
Weekly Journal Prompts:
Use these prompts as written or as inspiration to uncover what you need in your life this week.
What expectations do you have for yourself?
What expectations do you have for others?
What expectations do you feel others have for you?
How does having these expectations affect what you do and how you feel about it?
Do these expectations motivate you to keep moving forward?
Or do they hold you back?
What might happen if you let go of one of your expectations?
How would that feel?
What do you think you might learn?
Which expectation will you let go of this week?’
How will you be a little more gentle with yourself?
One Journaling Idea I Love:
Art journals. Journaling doesn’t have to be all words. In fact, sometimes words aren’t even needed. Sketch out what’s on your mind. Draw the answers to the questions you’re pondering. Use collage to piece together how you want things to be. Combine different elements to express your creativity and your thoughts.
Where You Can Find Me This Week:
I share journal related content on LinkedIn every day by 8 am Eastern. Visit me there for stories, journaling ideas, and fresh journal prompts every day!
I have a website! GoodThingsComeToThoseWhoJournal.com
Email always works too!
Interested in Working with Me?
I love to help people just like you start journaling and start journaling better. I’ll be putting together two journaling groups starting in April: 8-8:30 am and 9-9:30 pm Eastern. They’ll combine the journaling education you want and the accountability you need with a whole lot of journaling. More details will be in next week’s newsletter, but please do reach out if you absolutely can’t wait to hear more!
Happy Journaling!