What does the voice in your head tell you?
We all have voices in our heads.
And often they’re not helpful.
My voice is my inner critic.
She’s the voice that tells me I’m not good enough.
That I’m too far behind my arbitrary self-imposed deadline.
That I have to hurry - move fast - do it all, do it well, and have it done yesterday!
It’s exhausting, listening to that voice.
And it’s exhausting hearing that voice even when I don’t listen to her.
Even though I know she’s not telling the truth,
She’s told me these stories for so long now, they often feel like the truth.
For far too much of my life, I’ve believed her
And it’s affected the way I live -
Taking on all the responsibility
Saying yes to all the things, even when I don’t want to do them
Needing so desperately to be liked by everyone
Living with anxiety over it all.
Last week a friend led me through a gorgeous visualization
Where I got to meet my inner leader.
My inner leader, I discovered, is a gardener.
She’s nurturing and kind, and she pays attention to the smallest of details.
She understands that each plant needs the right conditions to grow,
And that love and care is always the answer.
She knows that patience is required -
We plant our seeds and then need to give them ample time to grow.
We don’t judge our sunflowers because they don’t bloom as soon as we plant them.
We don’t complain that our tomatoes don’t fruit instantaneously.
Why do I do this to myself?
Why am I always in such a hurry?
Why is it hard to just allow myself to simply be?
To trust that I am making a difference in the world by showing up as myself?
As we wind down Slowtober
(HOW did that happen already?!?)
I’m reflecting on the benefits slowing down has brought me,
Including the infusion of grace.
When I’m moving so fast, I forget to give myself grace and loving kindness.
When I’m moving so fast, all I can see is what I’m missing, what I lack.
When I’m moving so fast, my inner critic is so loud.
Slowing down has given me space and time to look inward,
To listen to my real voice,
To listen to what I need,
To take better care of myself.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
The more I get to know myself,
The more I love myself.
The more I love myself,
The better I take care of myself.
The better I take care of myself,
The more I grow in confidence and the desire to know myself better.
So as Slowtober ends, I’m carrying the spirit of slowness forward.
I’m celebrating Slowvember.
And I’m hoping Slowvember will be even kinder
As I choose to continue to slow down
As I choose to do less
And I choose to thank my inner critic and let her know she’s done her job,
And that she, too, gets to rest.
And I can be more patient and kind and loving toward myself.
Who’s with me?
Journal Prompts
Use these prompts as written or as inspiration to uncover what you need in your life this week. And know that I’m always here to support you and answer questions you have along the way!
What does your inner critic tell you?
How do you deal with these stories?
Do you believe them?
Do you have proof that they’re true? Or proof that they’re not?
How is your inner critic trying to keep you safe?
Are you ready to move on from hearing your inner critic’s voice?
What step can you take to replace the inner critic’s voice with one that is helpful to you?
One Journaling Idea
The Thought Journal
Dedicate some journal time to considering your thoughts. When you find yourself thinking a thought on repeat, think about where this thought came from, how it’s trying to help you, and whether or not you want to believe it.
For thoughts that are not helpful, consider how you could reframe these thoughts so that they better serve you.
For thoughts that are helpful, how can you celebrate them and foster more energy for helpful, positive thoughts?
How’s Your Journaling? Need Some Help?
Whether you’re looking for a little bit of support or a whole lot of it, I’m here to help you when you’re ready. And we can start with a conversation. Click here to put some time on my calendar.
More Good Stuff
Journaling Mini-Retreat - Wednesday, November 15, 7:30 pm Eastern
Gift yourself some self-care with this Journaling Mini-Retreat. Join us for our next monthly group journaling celebration. Register for free HERE.
Save on Your Next Journal
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Happy Journaling!
I loved your comparison to sunflower and tomato seeds. I am often very inpatient with myself too! Great read. It related all very much with me.
"We all have voices in our heads." Interestingly, apparently there are some people who actually don't have a voice in their heads. They think in images, so they experience internal silence when they're not actively focusing on something. Boy, I wish I knew what that felt like!