I finally called my therapist back.

Let's have a frank talk about self-care

It’s no secret that self-care has been top of mind for me this year.

I suppose I’ve always needed self-care, and just ignored it for a long time. But I feel like I need it now more than ever.

And I’m far from alone: I’ve had conversations on the need for self-care with just about everyone I’ve talked to in the last couple of months.

What has come up - over and over again - are the themes of I don’t have time for self-care and self-care feels so selfish.

Self-care has gotten twisted in the last however-many years, leading us to think that self-care needs to cost a lot of money or take a lot of time. What comes to mind when you think about self-care: long soaks in the bathtub? massages? going away on a retreat?

If so, it’s no wonder why we don’t feel like we have the time for it!

But self-care doesn’t have to look like this at all. It can be getting up fifteen minutes earlier to savor your morning cup of coffee. It can be listening to a beautiful piece of music while you brush and floss your teeth. It can be a five minute break in your work day where you go outside and stand barefoot in the grass.

Think about the last time you did something small for yourself. How much better did you feel afterwards? How much better able were you to show up for those who need you?

Let me suggest that self-care is the absolute best gift we can give to those who love us. In December, I shared with my husband my plan to take better care of myself this year.

“Good,” he said. “That’s what I want for you!”

And I know he means it because when I tell him I need to go upstairs and hibernate after dinner, he takes the lead on cleaning up and handling anything our teenagers might need. And he NEVER complains how long it takes. He knows when I emerge, I’ll be in top form - or at least better form than when I went in!

Let me be abundantly clear here: self-care is a necessity. And you deserve it.

There is a reason you’re here on this earth. There’s no one else in the Universe who’s exactly like you, who can do what you do, who can have the impact you can make.

And you can’t do it when you’re running yourself empty. Giving and doing to the point of exhaustion aren’t badges of honor.

Sure, there are times when we’re the ones who HAVE to do the things. But we can’t take care of them when we’re not taking care of ourselves.

My friend, I give you an invitation today: Carve out a few minutes to take care of yourself.

If you don’t know what you need, that’s okay.

Start by taking a few minutes to just be.

• Breathe - it’s amazing how easy it is to forget to breathe!

• Spend time in nature - go outside if you can, or at least look out your window at something beautiful, or water your houseplants.

• Write in your journal - not only is journaling self-care in and of itself, it’s the best way I know to identify what I need to take better care of myself.

It might feel weird, if it’s been a while since you’ve taken care of you. I promise, it gets easier with practice!

What could you do, who could you be, if you allowed yourself to take care of you?

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Use these prompts as written or as inspiration to uncover what you need in your life this week. And know that I’m always here to support you and answer questions you have along the way!

• If you have a regular self-care practice that works for you:

  • What does it look like?

  • How often do you do it?

  • What does it give you?

  • Is there something that needs to be added or subtracted or changed to be more serviceable?

• If you sometimes do self-care, but more often forget it’s a thing:

  • What do you need?

  • What would feel good to you?

  • What do you enjoy doing?

  • Pick something and schedule it into your calendar to help make sure you do it. Set reminders if you need to.

• If you haven’t practiced self-care in so long, you’ve forgotten what it is, give yourself a little bit of love, compassion, and kindness.

  • What is something that brings you joy? How can you turn this into an act of self-care? Can you bring home a bouquet of flowers from the grocery store? Savor a cup of tea and a good book at bedtime? Hug someone tightly?

  • What is something you’ve been neglecting? Is it a doctor’s appointment? Have you been meaning to get to the therapist? Pick up lotion at the store? Use your chapstick? Choose something and do it!

  • What is something you already do that you can bring self-care into? Is it moving your body more mindfully? Ending your workout when your body tells you it’s had enough instead of pushing it past the point of exhaustion? Putting cream in your oatmeal and linger over breakfast? Savoring a small piece of dark chocolate instead of devouring a whole candy bar while you’re scrolling?

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One Journaling Idea I Love:

Add Reflection to What You’re Already Doing

So many people I meet swear up and down that they don’t journal, but when they share practices that work for them, it’s easy to see where they can make a little tweak to turn it into journaling.

Say you spend time each morning planning your day. What if you added a reflection question or two to your practice? What kind of energy do you want to bring with you? What do you need so you can show up as the best version of yourself? Voila! Your planning practice is now journaling!

Maybe you’re an avid workout log keeper. Consider spending a couple of each minutes documenting how you felt during your workout - were you prepared and focused? Or did you come to the gym hungry and annoyed, made worse by the guys who hogged the equipment and didn’t rack their weights? Did you do your reps slower than usual? Were you in a hurry? All of this adds so much more insight than just weights and reps. It fills in the rest of the story about how you were able to hit that PR or why you couldn’t lift as heavy. Voila! Journaling!

My son is 20 and a lineman. He keeps a notebook where he documents the jobs that he does - how many spans of cable he runs, how many pole transfers, the locations, etc. When he takes the time to add other notes - showed up to the jobsite and the job wasn’t ready, shorthanded today, mid-day thunderstorm and couldn’t work, all the stars aligned and everything went smoothly - not only does he give himself a more comprehensive picture on how his day went and why he was able to accomplish what he did, it also gives him an opportunity to reflect on what’s going well and what he can do better or differently next time. Voila! Journaling!

What existing practice can you turn into journaling?

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Unveil Your Inner Magic

At the end of May, I felt called to pause my group program, and do some recalibration to bring my offers back into alignment with my mission show people that good things come to those who journal and that each of us can find a way that works for us.

I’m so excited to share that my new program, Unveil Your Inner Magic, is finally ready for you!

This program focuses on self-discovery as a pathway to self-awareness, self-love, and celebration of the magic we bring to the world.

I bring the rich reflection, guidance and support to Unveil Your Inner Magic that I’ve brought my other programs, but this one is set up with greater flexibility.

Each week you’ll receive an email with the week’s reflection exercises and journal prompts. You get to decide how you’ll do them - one a day, all at once, space them out over multiple days, spend all week diving really deep into just one question.

And each week, we’ll have a 60-minute live group journaling call to deepen our exploration and build community on our journey. And this too is flexible - choose between Monday mornings at 8am Eastern and Thursday evenings at 7pm Eastern.

With support through our Slack channel, and additional opportunities for accountability sessions and curated journal boxes, this program can be exactly what you need it to be.

We start on Monday! Subscribe this week and get a special bonus: a copy of my journaling one-pager that has been my best tool for living an intentional, organized, and aligned life.

Learn more at unveilyourinnermagic.com.

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More Good Stuff

• This month’s Journaling Mini-Retreat will be on Wednesday, July 19 at 7:30 pm Eastern. Our focus will be on finding joy and savoring the moments that matter. Click HERE to register.

• I’m working on a big revamp of my Tuesday evening livestream. Join me on Tuesday at 8pm Eastern to hear about what I’ve got up my sleeve!

Happy Journaling!